Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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