Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he puts the penis in happiness.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
