I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
