im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
