Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
