Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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