i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
