That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
