I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
