I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
