They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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