I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
