And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
