Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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