I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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