Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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