How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
