i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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