How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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