we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
