Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
