Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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