She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
