Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
