I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
