some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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