party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
