i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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