She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Success! We fucked roommates!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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