i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
