my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
What a dumb baby whore.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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