And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
