well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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