Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
FUCK WHALES
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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