I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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