how can u be prego again
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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