Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
