his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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