Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
