Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't think brook has ever known best
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
