o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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