If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
