whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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