No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
