so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You ruined the universe
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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