Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
