I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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