We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
