He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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