quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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